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Hawaii: The Finale

Hello again. It's been a minute. A lot has transpired over the last couple of months so I apologize to those of you have read my journey thus far. Let's see....Where were we...Oh right, the excruciating jolts of lightning that would go down my leg. Of course! How could I ever forget this horrible, horrible pain.

Now, let it be known that I am not someone who enjoys just sitting around all of the time. I have a lot of deep emotional turmoil that is not good when left to doing nothing. You know how that goes, you have nothing to do so your mind begins to race and that is never a good thing. Therefore I loved to go places, I mean who wouldn't it was Hawaii after all. I loved to take walks with a dear friend of mine, who I will keep her name private. I remember on one of these evening walks while our husbands were in the field we made it about 3 minutes down the road and I got that ever so glorious jolt of pain down my right leg and had to sit down. I remember just looking at her saying, that's really weird and painful. Oh well I thought. So we kept going. I made it about 15 minutes that night and had to return home. This pain, this incredibly awful pain was becoming worrisome.

After that night I made another appointment with my primary care physician after the suggestion of my mother. When I went into that appointment, I was already not in good spirits after my last few appointments. I don't remember a lot from that appointment but what I do recall is, "did you go see your dietician?" Are you kidding me??? What does a dietician have to do with pain in the leg. After that appointment I felt absolutely defeated. I mean what more could I have done at that point. The emergency room? Of course not, another round of physical therapy? NO! I did what I thought was best and just hoped it would go away so I could stop hearing how my weight was the cause of all my pain.

Well that's exactly what I did. I moved on for the remainder of my husbands duration at Schofield Barracks. It became increasingly painful to do everyday chores, grocery shopping, outings, just plain walking through the apartment. How can I explain this pain to you? Lets see, at this point it felt as though I was having a hot branding iron shoved all the way down my leg. It was horrible, but let me tell you, it got much worse. I let it go though. We were about to take another journey to Kansas and I was just happy to be going back to the states. I thought surely I could get some help there...Boy was I wrong.

Let me remind you that this is not a story about someone who wants to criticize and whine about doctors being mean to me. This is a cautionary tale about standing up for yourself. You have to be your own advocate. If you're not, who will be. So that is it for my Hawaii journey. Hawaii was an amazing experience. It was so beautiful and glorious that I have so many amazing memories. I mean I got my beautiful, hateful cat from there. I made an amazing friend, who I am so proud of. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about independence and trust. What I also learned is that you can't trust anyone. You can't trust the people who say they will help you. I learned so much about the mistreatment of military spouses in the medical community, as well as the mistreatment of soldiers (but that's not my story to tell).

Thank you again for taking this trip with me through some of the most painful and dark times of my life. Let's continue on the Kansas...

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